Our trip to the Stollery

Everett tricked mommy into not one but two hospital visits this week. And by tricked I mean the first required minor treatment and the second required immediate attention. The real kicker is they both took place on the same day, Monday. On Sunday night Everett started to vomit. He couldn't hold down anything, would throw up water within 1 minute of taking it. Unfortunately on Monday morning he was still unable to keep down water. We headed to the hospital to fill out some work paper work. While there my charge nurse took a little at Everett and suggested we head down to emergency just to get him checked out and an order of the miracle drug Zofran. So begrudgingly I did it. I took my baby down to the germ infested waiting room and waited. Of course I gave my good friend Jen, an emergency room nurse, the heads up we were coming. Eventually we saw the triage nurse "What seems to be the emergency?" my response "I wouldn't call it an emergency" Ha! Wasn't I smug? As I told the resident, who I happened to know from the floor "I feel like I'm wasting resources by being here." Of course she did a full assessment on Everett, and provided him with a small dose of Zofran and Tylenol, which stopped the vomiting. So we were off on are merry way.

Everett of course fell asleep as soon as we got home and he enjoyed a wonderful 2 hour nap. When Everett woke up he enjoyed two ounces of milk. And then his hands, feet and lips turned blue. Not an I'm cold blue, a full blue. His temp was 38.0, he was responsive but something was not right. I grabbed Everett, went to my parents house, who reassuringly said "Take him back to the emergency room!!" Dylan and I did just that.

Unfortunately the triage nurse who was very busy didn't seem to believe us at all, and informed us it would be a 4 hour wait. 2 and a half hours later we were admitted.

The intern we saw made me smile with his confidence. He made a ton of uninformed claims like "Sometimes peripheral cyanosis can be a good thing." Really when?!?!?!? My kid is not a smurf!!! Or "Im concerned it might be a stomach issue such as Chrone's"...Really?!?!?!? Because Im pretty sure it's gastro since I was pooping and vomiting earlier this week. And of course "I'm sorry but your kid checks out. I think they're going to send you home."Really because his resting heart rate is 180, his BP is 108/68, his o2 sats are 92-95%. HE TURNED BLUE!!!! HE DOES NOT CHECK OUT!!!

After the intern left I was going over all these arguments in my head, waiting for the resident to come in, praying for a resident I know. Wasn't I shocked to see an Emergency room intensivist instead. Of course she took one look at Everett and said "There is something wrong with your son, you won't be leaving." She then continued to say to the intern "His heart rate is elevated, his pulses are thready, his peripheral pulses no longer match, his feet are dusky, his extremities are very cold, Did you even look at his feet?!? His cap refills are about 5 seconds. We have been bothering him for how long and he has no tears, and his mouth is dry. We need to get him fluid started right away." By this point Everett was no longer sitting independently able to drink himself. It was breaking my heart to hear everything the Dr. said because I knew what it ment. But at the same time it was such a relief to know. The Dr. was very reassuring. She said she was pretty sure that he had "turned blue" because he was so dehydrated that his cirrculation was being compromised, but to be sure she wanted to do a partial work up, including EKG and chest Xray.

Everett ended up having the workup including, 2 IV pokes, blood work, catheter, A tube up his nose for NPA's and well the works. But he was to tired to care. The only part that really upset him was the Xray which he needed to be sat up in this plastic contraption.

800cc of fluid, 2 boluses and 50 cc/hr maintanance, and 12 hours later my son was painfully able to sit independently for short periods again, and started to make soft babbleing noises. But the most wonderful site for me was to see one single tear role down his face.

Everett was discharged, he still weighed less then his 1 year check up, he was still weak, but he could drink again. And we were given prescription of Zofran. Our nurse Mary said it best "Im so glad he reacted so well the bolus's. I thought you were going to be here for awhile." I smiled because I knew what she ment. I knew what she wasn't saying, because I have said those words to. Dylan of course is still clueless to how sick our little man was. He just knew if I was worried then he was too!

On Tuesday Everett was probably awake for a total of 3 hours. I determined he wasn't able to tolerate cow's milk, when he started throwing up again and his tummy was all distended. So on Wednesday we defrosted left over breast milk and he drank that all day tolerating it well. Thank goodness I hadn't gotten around to throwing it out yet. He was still pretty sick, continued to have a temperature and was unable to walk independently.

By Wednesday he was up for 5 hours of the day. Tolerated breast milk, and at dinner ate 6 bites of rice cereal. He was up walking around and finally smiled and laughed again. This morning you can't even tell he was sick. His appetite is still tiny but he is working on it. He is up playing and getting into trouble as we speak.

Now for all you cloth diaper users out there, no I did not use cloth diapers at the hospital, in fact I had to go up to my unit to steal some disposables for him. It was a hard thing to do, but when your kid is dehydrated they want to keep track of everything that comes in and out, so we weigh diapers. And that is what disposables are ment for emergencies!!

Wed

Mommy Moments

I think as parents we have these ideals of how things should be, we plan and prepare, and in our heads have it all figured out. We look at other parents and think I will never do that, I will never allow that, what kind of parent "fill in the blank". The truth is we all do it. But then baby comes and everything you believe is flipped upside down, all those wonderful truths are no longer black and white, and we beat ourselves up over them. The truth is none of us are perfect. To prove my point here is a list of my not so good mommy moments...

~We let Everett sleep with us for naps and an hour in the morning.

~I couldn't of been happier to fully wean Everett from the breast at 12months

~Tonight I fed Everett chx noodle soup from a can because I was to lazy to make dinner...and to sick

~We let Everett chew on a dryer ball, he loves it!

~ At 3 months I let Everett roll off the couch, then I cried harder and longer then he did

~Sometimes if we are out and we miss his milk time I let him have 2% milk

~My house is a mess!!

~ I stopped clipping his nails because I always made him bleed, so daddy now files them

~ Everett didn't sleep through the night until after 6 months

~ Sometimes I go into his room when he's asleep just to give him cuddles

Although these may not make me mother of the year, I figure they do make me a real mother. I know that in the years to come this list will grow exponentially and there will be numerous mommy fails, but I know there will be just as many good mommy moments. At least I hope there are and that no notices all my bad moments.

A year ago...

Everett at 3 months

What to do about Blue Lips....

The thing about being a pediatric nurse...is you know just enough to make you paranoid. That's right I'm paranoid. We laugh when nurses on our unit get pregnant because you know just how neurotic they will be while pregnant. I pediatric hospital is not where you want to be when you're pregnant. You are painfully aware of everything that can go wrong. You are aware that those tiny percents they quote in pregnancy books are actually possible. You see the kids with diseases that are 1 in 1 million. And all you can do is hope and pray for a healthy child. In that way you are just like every other mother. The difference is you know what realities are ahead of you, if things don't go as planned. Now to be fair, we see worst case scenarios. There are a lot of children born at 28 weeks who grow up to be completely healthy individuals. Those just aren't the ones I get to see on a day to day bases. And if you ask the parents of most children on our unit, they love there child just the way they are, and would not do anything to change there child.

That being said I am still paranoid. Everett fell off the couch at three months when I leaned over to get a cloth to clean up spit up. I cried and cried and cried. He did not. I wanted to take him to emergency. I was determined I had accidently given my baby a head injury like shaken baby. The truth is NO baby will ever suffer shaken baby from rolling off the couch...it's just not physically possible. Ask any Dr. I knew this but yet I was determined I had just traumatically injured my child. See I'm paranoid. I am trying to get better...Everett recently fell down a couple of stairs, I did not cry, I just watched checked his pupils every couple hours for three days :)

So recently Everett was sick with Gastro. It sucked but that's life, toddlers will get sick. I probably bring home enough germs from the hospital that he will have complete immunity by age 3. Im surprised he's not sick more often. My son does not live in a bubble. During his illness and immediately after Everett started getting blue lips. Each time would last around 5 minutes. He is not in any distress, he is not panicking and he is not lethargic. There does not seem to be anything that coincides with each time he gets blue lips...it just happens. His cap refill is good although his fingers are cold to touch. His temperature is 37.2. He is always indoors and well dressed. He remains happy through out the episode. And I have no idea why it's happening. Yet surprisingly this I am not paranoid about. This I am not freaking out over. Maybe because my child appears to healthy to be sick. Maybe Im afraid of the other options. Maybe Im to afraid to be paranoid. Or maybe I just somehow know he's okay.

I brought him to our family Dr. I had to sneak him in :) But she agreed to see him, because blue lips aren't normal. After doing a full assessment and not finding any obvious cause, she asked me straight on "Knowing what you know, how do you feel about this?" and I was able to calmly and honestly say "I don't think it's anything to be concerned with, but I needed you to know, I needed someone else to have this information, just in case Im wrong." So we still don't have a diagnosis, we probably never will honestly. We are being referred out for a second opinion and Everett needs to get some blood work done. Pretty minor stuff.

But don't worry Im still paranoid that my child might drown in 2 inches of water, or accidently have a TV fall on him, or suffocate on a pillow in his bed...but blue lips I can handle.

Sick Days

A couple of days ago I got sick. I realize not everyone is a nurse and

people don't want to hear the gory details so I will just say Gastro

it's not pretty. Everett got up early to try to find me, when

he did he took one look at me and ran for Daddy's arms. I am not

kidding, that is how bad I looked. I was a disaster. Fortunately I have

a wonderful husband who loves to watch his son. While I laid in

bed all day, Dylan took Everett to work for a meeting, and

kept him out of the house all day. At night when Dylan had to work

my parents agreed to watch Everett. I felt bad asking, because I knew

they would agree, even though they had just gotten home yesterday.

At 8:45 my mom brought Everett home tried to sneak upstairs and put

him to sleep. I went to checkon them, curling into a ball on Everett's

rocker. From his changetable Everett who hadn't seen me all day turns

his head, smiles, and gives three big kisses. It just melted my heart.

Here I was feeling the worst I've felt in years and with one small

gesture that boy made me feel wonderful. Everett went straight to

bed. And my mom left. The last thing she said was "If he wakes up

tonight call me, I'll come get him." Not that I would ever do that but

that too melted my heart. I just hope one day yearsfrom now Everett

will be as greatful for Dylan and I, as I was for my parents on Tuesday

night.

Fortunately it was only a 36hour sickness, but then Everett got sick.

It sucks to watch your baby get sick but whats even worse is to not be

there. I had to work, and Dylan was off. So Dylan stayed with him.

Dylan is a very capable father. He took 3 months paternity leave, he

knows how to take care of his son. But I felt I should of been the one

with Everett. Maybe its because Im his mother, maybe its because Im

a nurse, maybe its because Dylan didn't know what Pedialyte was.

Either way it broke my heart not to be with Everett when he was sick.

Now that he is better-ish, I can actually see that it was better that

Dylan did stay with him. Everett and Dylan had been having some

bonding issues the last couple weeks, so it's nice that Dylan got to be

the one to hold and cuddle the sick little guy.

Daddy and Diapers

Now I know I'm lucky, my husband completely supports my decision to cloth diaper. He isn't lukewarm towards the idea, he doesn't hesitate between disposables and cloth, he does cloth. He is a Cloth Diaper daddy. If you ask him why he does it he will likely say "because of my wife" but that is not true he does it for our son. Everett has SUPER sensitive skin and cloth diapers work best for him.

Do not be fooled he knows his cloth diapers. He prefers velcro to snaps, but likes that Everett can't undo snaps. He likes to match Everett's cloth diapers to whatever sports team is playing. He could care less if it's organic cotton or cotton, he does not care if which insert is to suppose to go with which diaper he will decide on the best combination based on his needs and finally he will NOT ever do prefolds. He happily travels using cloth, he prefers cloth to biosoakers and gdiapers.

All that being said there are definitely some interesting daddy and diaper moments. Daddy used to wash the diapers when he was on paternity leave, but now that he is working full time and I am working part time it's mostly back in my hands. Last night though I asked Daddy to do the diapers well I was working. As soon as I got home I went to change out of my scrubs and took them to the laundry room where I discovered a washer full of suds. "Dylan how much detergent did you use" "A full cap, why?!?!?" Ugh we have a front loader...not good. It took six washes to finally be suds free. SIX WASHES!!! I had to wonder why not just use the tiny bubbles...it's fool proof? Why not just call and ask? Why? But I can't really complain I mean my husband does wash cloth diapers.

We have had a couple other funny moments...but honestly I will take all the funny moments because I am lucky my husband is a Cloth Diaper Daddy!

What a Great Day!!!

Everett woke up at 4:30 this morning!! 4:30.....Seriously 4:30, before him, that was bedtime for Dylan and I. 4:30 is not morning!! Unfortunately he just couldn't settle, he tossed and turned and cried out for a couple more hours but just couldn't get a restful sleep. I was determined we were going to have a bad day...besides the 4:30 wake up call, I had a dentist appointment and had to cancel a playdate.

The first good thing to happen was Hart Hanson retweeted something I said to him...it wasn't really anything amazing or super thoughtful, but he obviously thougt it was important enough to retweet. I know its super small but it made me smile! That's the thing about Twitter, it connects you to people you normally would never be able to connect with. I think Hart Hanson is amazing because a) He's Canadian, b)He writes/directs/produces/runs my favorite show Bones, c) He seems like a real good person...like the kind of person I would trust Everett with for an hour.

The next good thing...was not the dentist appointment. No Everett won a contest by Robeez. The contest was post a picture of you child in his most patriotic outfit, Everett wore a Baby Kanga (Canadian Company) and his red Olympic mittens. I believe he was the only Canadian baby to win this week. YEAH!!! Everett wins a free pair of shoes. Im super thrilled with this since I love shoes so much!!

And then...Everett was playing in the bonus room, while daddy and I sat talking. He undid his diaper...both daddy and I said "Put that diaper back on!!" Instead Everett turned walked down the hall and banged on the bathroom door. Daddy put him on the toilet...and he immediately peed!!! At 13 months old it's official I think my little guy is a genius!!! I was sooo proud, daddy is sure its a coincidence, but I'm pretty sure he's a potty training genius!

And then to top it all off at bedtime he went to bed without a fight. I think the toddler bed may be a success!

Then Daddy called to announce Cineplex was hiring for his dream job as a booker. A temporary position but still a foot in the door. Although moving to Toronto is the last thing I want to do, it is Daddy's dream, and they do have Sick Kids that I could go work at...if he gets the job.

All and all a very good day for the Hodgson family!!